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Working with huge datasets isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be quite the horror show from time to time. And in celebration of the spookiest day of the year, we wanted to share our top twelve scariest situations that developers often struggle with – situations so ominous and blood-curdling, you’ll want to do all your log management with the lights on from here on out.
12. THEY LOG
Anomalies. They’re everywhere, hiding beneath the thinnest veneer of a surface, undetected. They run rampant through your application and the proof is in the logs, but no one else can see them – until one day you put on the glasses, and suddenly you realize things aren’t what they’ve seemed. All you wanted to do was chew bubblegum and ship apps… and you’re all out of bubblegum.
11. THE FINDING
All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy. All roots and no causes make Jack a dull boy.
10. The REGEXORCIST
Something beyond comprehension is happening in your app. In your services. In your database. The power of data compels you. Manual troubleshooting requires time and patience and often requires young developers to lean on more experienced, expert developers to exorcise the demons, slowing down the development process for everyone involved.
9. STREAM
What’s your favorite output destination? Do you even know where your data is going? Where it belongs? What should be saved and what should be discarded? Someone has taken their love of data pipelines one step too far. Solving this mystery is going to be murder.
8. ALERTS
There are 4 billion alerts from your environment. 237 are useful. They have the most terrifying power to overwhelm you… and they are winning. 10 seconds: the pain begins. 15 seconds: you don’t breathe. 20 seconds: you explode. Seriously, just tell me what to fix!
7. NIGHT OF THE LOGGING DEAD
Something isn’t right, and the endless, mindless masses of lines of logs keep coming. No insights. No clarity. No intelligence. No alerts. No answers. Just terror, which gnaws at your very being.
6. DAWN OF THE DEVS
When there’s no more room for data, the devs will walk the edge. Service limits and indexing capacities have been reached, but how much of the stored data is useful, worth retaining, and not just junk that should be sent back to the grave? The horrors of Night of the Logging Dead continue in this bigger, badder, substantially scarier sequel.
5. SALEM’S LOG
Something seems… “off” about your once-warm and welcoming application. A peaceful, quaint app on the surface, where everything appears to be perfectly normal. But you can’t shake the feeling of an ancient, unspeakable evil hiding in plain sight. How would you know what’s really going on?
4. PARANORMAL ANOMALY
It’s the middle of the night. You’re safe and sound asleep in your cozy bed. You’re all alone. And you’re on-call. You hear a sound – a bump in the night, a creak in the dark, a far-off, distant alarm crying out for your attention. If only you had seen this coming sooner.
3. LOG SEMATARY
When the things you thought you’d buried start coming back from the dead, when the errors and issues you once found in your logs start coming back to haunt you, then it might be time to burn it all down… or at least take a deeper look into what’s actually happening.
2. EDGE DELTA 2: EDGE BY DAWN
Having successfully survived all of the typical horrors of DevOps up to this point, you find yourself on the brink of insanity, struggling to banish the evil presence you mistakenly unleashed. Doing so will force you to summon the courage necessary to face your darkest fears as you don the chainsaw of development and head down into that cellar of a database to carve yourself a witch.
1. THE DEVELOPER
You can’t stand the thought of not knowing what’s happening in your application any longer. You tried to shut them out, but whispers from the void consumed your mind and possessed your soul. Now you’re trapped in an endless search with no way out. In a world where applications are haunted, data volumes are out of control, and countless horrors hide within the murky depths of loathsome logs, you dare to seek the truth. And only one horror-proof solution will lead you to your salvation.
